Sunday, November 04, 2007
Wine and Food
Today is a day for rehearsing, cleaning, and buggering around. It's nearly 1pm and I've only managed to eat some breakfast, wander around in my Better Half's pajamas and listen to Bill Withers. You know what that means? I'm having a successful Sunday.
Yesterday was a bit of a fog. I strolled into the Wine and Food Show like a baby lamb, completely unprepared for the madness within. I have come to a few conclusions about this event.
1. I am far, far, FAR more claustrophobic than I give myself credit for. Going to the Wine and Food Show is like Fear Factor for people who hate crowds and meaningless lines.
2. The only way to have a great time is to go when nobody else is there, or to get shitfaced. If you do both of these things, you will have a blast. If you don't, you will want to die.
3. This event could be renamed "Social Time for Rich White People and their Skanky Hairdressers." If it had been named accordingly, I would have known what to expect.
4. People can be very pretentious about wine. It's. Fucking. Wine. Relax y'all.
5. If you drink so much that you get sick in the ladies' room, then you belong at The Cabin or at a high school prom. Not at the Wine and Food Show.
Beyond that, I'm not sure what to say. Eventually I did have a nice time, because as you know, good food and good wine are two of my favourite things. But the whole thing felt so WASP-y. Would you believe I felt underdressed? At an event where you get herded around like cattle and robbed of all your money? Nobody can see your Prada shoes when you're packed in like a sardine, ladies. And gentlemen? Going to the Wine and Food show in Armani makes you look like a dick.
Because I was panicked from all the people, I got fairly drunk and sang "Do you know the muffin man" again and again until I was calm. No puking though. I have lovely, patient friends. Thank God they knew their way around that place.
Here is a picture of the boys who run Whalesbone. I love this restaurant, and this booth was a breather from all the WASP in that place. Plus, if you look veeeery closely, you can see that one of their sauces is called "Sweet Cock." When they told me it was for sale, I told them I can get it for free. I made their server blush purple.