The Billy Goat

I have a terrible habit of missing some of the better concerts that come to town. Yes, I may talk incessantly about music and listen to it ad nauseum, but when it comes time to see a show, I will either get too tired or too drunk and miss the whole affair.

So I was almost surprised to find myself at a Billy Bragg concert last night, because it seemed to be exactly the kind of thing I would normally miss. The fact that I love dear Billy and have always wanted to see him live only cemented that notion in my mind. When he stepped on stage in his bright red shirt with his silver guitar in hand, I had a wee swoon. It's a handy thing that I was sandwiched in between so many tall people or I may have lost my footing. (Note: this is the ONLY time you will hear me speaking about being short in a positive light. At a concert, it is a handicap of the worst kind, usually resulting in me elbowing my way to the front of the crowd so I can get my money's worth. Other times I sit down in defeat. It's a sticky way to go.)

At any rate, he started to sing, and a collective grin spread across the faces of everyone there. He paused to drink some tea. He started to explain why he likes the tea. Somehow he got on the topic of goats. And then he told a fascinating story about how male goats like to attract female goats by peeing on their own faces.

Ummmmm.

The collective grin turned into a rather confused chuckle, and then into peals of laughter. He continued talking about goat pee. It became the theme of the night. And when it came time to sing one of my all-time favourite Billy Bragg songs, Sexuality, he changed the title to Beastiality and sang about the merits of goat pee.

Oh, Billy. Why why why. Not to say that I didn't enjoy it, because I did, and my face hurt from all the laughing. But now when I hear that song, I can't help but remember the chorus that I heard last night.

"Beastiality.... your laws do not apply to me...."

The best part was that he paused at one point to say, "I'll bet you'll all blog about this tomorrow."

Right on Bill, you got me. Now I will run myself a bath, turn off my brain, and try to get that chorus out of my head.