Glue-shi

I stumbled across this line on Gramophone, and enjoyed it endlessly.

Smoking: "The sound of throwing yourself against a concrete wall, over and over, happily."

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I just got back from a grocery shopping at the ever-entertaining Hartman's downtown.

I know it's expensive, but I always get sucked in by the fact that they always have relatively fresh mushrooms (one of my many food weaknesses), they stock spelt hamburger buns (I try to stay away from wheat when I can), and they carry my favourite brand of soy milk (I am picky).

They also have an old, completely out of tune piano in the cafe area, and random people can go up and play for the shoppers. I find this so wonderful, and the out-of-tune-ness has finally stopped bothering me. Now I just sit down with my Better Half, eat Terrible Grocery Store Sushi that tastes a bit like glue, and chill. And try to swallow. And chill. And gag. And chill.

(This is not the aforementioned glue-shi, but delicious sushi we made a couple of years ago. A spunky woman named Ruby came to our house and gave a whole group of us a workshop on sushi making. I have never gotten more value for my money, nor have I eaten so much seaweed in one sitting. Don't even get me started on the sake.)

I digress! But besides the benefits mentioned above, Hartman's has a serious flaw. Its lack of tofu cream cheese pisses me off. Consistently. Why would you have an organic/health section and not have tofu cream cheese? Why would you have spelt bagels and not have tofu cream cheese? Why would you bother having bagels at all? Has the sheer deliciousness of tofu cream cheese not illuminated the dear souls who order the health food? It's probably better that way, because then I spend far more money at Kardish or The Wheat Berry getting my fix, but still. Get on the train, Hartman's. It's delicious and nutritious.

I was planning on writing more about how watching people eat really shitty food makes me feel queasy, but I just managed to say it in one sentence. Just like that.

The other day I watched a girl scarf down a gigantic Dairy Queen monstrosity in one short bus ride, and although once upon a time I would have yearned for a sticky sweet myself, I just felt grossed out. I'm allergic to milk, and being away from the stuff for long enough has made me feel ill when I have to hang out with it on a bus. I don't mean to sound righteous, because I'm well aware that I eat plenty of stuff I shouldn't, but DUDE. Sometimes I'm amazed that certain "foods" are legal, we'll just put it that way. If you leave a banana out for two months and it's still yellow, DON'T EAT THE FREAKY BANANA. IT MAY HAVE CAUGHT THE FREAKY AND IT MAY JUST PASS IT ON TO YOU. NOBODY WANTS TO CATCH THE FREAKY FROM A BANANA, WORD?

At any rate. I ran flat out of underwear this morning, and have to go do an emergency laundry. You don't even want to know what the compromise underwear was. Let's just say it was given to me as a joke. Let's just say that.