I've been learning a lot about patience lately. It's become the word of the season.
For whatever reason, I've been getting all uppity and panicked when things don't come together right away. Logically, I know this is silly. I don't really expect things to magically resolve themselves or click into place. I'm ready to work for it. And yet, my brain wants immediate gratification, regardless of how unlikely that is. Immediate food. Immediate organization. Immediate health. Immediate calm.
If it were up to my brain, I wouldn't be in album-related debt. Even better, I would have a down payment all ready and I would buy myself a house. I might also own a little Honda Fit, because as much as I like taking the bus, I can't get myself out of the city as often as I would like. The possibility of touring is uncomfortably impossible, unless I want to take a cross-country Greyhound and suffer from a permanently sore ass.
My brain would like to have a French bulldog and a cat, and they would wrestle each other for hours before coming together over a bowl of food. My brain wants time for road trips, visits to flea markets, and time to write songs. It especially wants to spend all day in the kitchen, trying out all those recipes I never seem to use. It would like to get into better shape. And oddly, it wants to buy a comfortable sofa. I know. The demands!
But hey, what can I do? I'm working at getting my financial stability back. I couldn't afford to own a car right now, and I probably don't need one, despite all my whining. I will get some pets after I move to my next place. And at some point, I'll make the time to get creative again.
In the meantime, I feel pretty damn lucky to be where I am.