I was supposed to come home, have dinner, clean my bedroom, rehearse for tomorrow's show, and sleep.
Instead, I came home, had hot cereal, canceled rehearsal, and sat in front of my computer.
Okay, not quite what I had in mind, but you know what? I feel very, strangely, good. This past year has been weird. I haven't quite been myself, and I wasn't sure what to do about it. When you can't quite put your finger on why you feel shitty, it's hard to address it. So you just keep on trucking. And the feeling gets worse, or it gets heavier, or it does whatever a bad feeling does. It gets badder, if I may use that term.
But then tonight, in chatting with my lovely roommate, I realized that I could just let it all go. I'm fine. Life is fine, and I like chocolate cake. Sorry, I mean I like life. When I am surrounded by chocolate cake. Fuck, sorry, I mean always. I like life always (with chocolate cake).
Okay, I don't know why my fingers keep typing that. Maybe because I came across this recipe and I can't get it out of my mind. BH, darling... Could we (cough... you) make this?
So goodbye to feeling sub par. There is cake to eat!
Ora Cogan, who is splitting the bill with me tomorrow night, is crashing here this evening. She will be here soon and we will play banjo and guitar and sing songs about sad, wonderful things. Meeting other songwriters can be such a treat. It's like you both have the same guilty pleasure, so you can have an entire conversation about medium gage acoustic strings and not feel like a pretentious asshole. In preparation of her arrival, I plan to make a big cup of cocoa. For myself.