Two Good Things

I am stupid. Freaking. Tired.

I have a feeling I'll be the only one showing up to the office today, too. It would be a little too transparent to call in sick though, so I'll suck it up and go in. I think I'll need to nap before I ring in the New Year, or I'll be snoozing while I'm boozing. (See that clever twist of words? My wit is sharp like a knife when I haven't slept!)

But really? I'm actually not feeling so hot. And if nobody's around when I get to my desk, I'll consider heading home to avoid some random health disaster. I'm feeling sort of anxious as it is, which I assume is due to my lack of sleep. Or maybe it's because of the GIANT SPIDER THAT FOLLOWS ME AROUND EVERYWHERE I GO. No, wait. That's my imagination.

Okay, time for some Good Things. Enough of this sad sap talk.

1. The good thing about being close friends with the guy you dated in high school is that, when you exchange Christmas gifts, you both know exactly which book the other person will like (of course you both got books). And when they open up their gift to a random page and start smirking at the text, you will feel like a million bucks, because you knew they would smirk like that.

2. The good thing about making lasagna for your Colombian friends is that when they show up exactly two hours later than you had planned, you can pop the slightly-dry but still edible lasagna out of the oven as though you knew they would take so damn long to arrive. (In all fairness, if there's one thing I learned in Colombia, it's to arrive two hours late everywhere you go... So you are on schedule with everyone else. It's Colombian time. That way you don't have to spend two hours alone on a street corner feeling freaked out by all the dudes with machine guns. Jesus, I need a real vacation.)

3. There is no third thing. My brain is fuzzy.

Wishing you all a wonderful New Year. May you eat, drink, and be merry. And get some sleep, y'all. Don't end up like me. All slow and woozy. And slow.