There are some parts of being an independent musician that make me want to hide under my bed.
Writing cheques from my own bank account, and hoping to hell they don't bounce? Painful.
Trying to be in promo mode 24/7? Tiring.
Listening to my own CD, fresh from the manufacturer, and finding myself praying to everything that's holy that there's nothing wrong with it? To the point where I am tip-toeing around the house, taking shallow breaths, and aging myself by ten years with all the worrying? To the point where I've started a blog posting to distract myself from the possibility that maybe the master got scratched in transit and THERE COULD BE A MISTAKE ON THE RECORDING. THERE COULD BE A FREAKING MISTAKE ON IT. A MISTAKE.
And somehow, it would be my fault.
I am trying very hard not to stab myself in the eye just to stop that little internal voice from repeating, "Wouldn't it be tragic if your whole second batch of CDs had a flaw? Wouldn't that just be soooo depressing? It's totally possible, you know...." This is one of the only times where I wish it wasn't just me dealing with all this stuff. Perhaps I could hire a pair of ears to do the tough listening for me. Do you think I could pay a pair of ears in quesadillas? Because that's pretty much all I've got right now. Quesadillas and chocolate cookies.
Oops! Just quesadillas.
PS, It's not all doom and gloom. That good music news will be coming down the pipes soon enough.
PPS, The album just ended. No mistakes. Deep. Breath. Out. I wish I hadn't eaten all those cookies.
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5 comments:
I'm glad you added that PPS. You had me on tenderhooks. Look forward to hearing your new music, and your exciting music news.
Oh god. I know EXACTLY about all those things you are going through. The tiptoeing and the shallow breathing and the obsessive baking and the 24/7 promo mode and the accelerated aging...oh darling I know...
Shawna
ps: I thought you wrote "chocolate quesadillas". Yum?
For a good (vegan) chocolate chip cookie, I'd listen to nomadic yak herders whistling out of tune if it meant I'd get more cookies. :)
Two things- first, what's the best way for me to get my hands on a copy of the cd- through your website? Also, I just noticed that although you have a link here from your website, there's no link to your website from here. Just an observation. :)
Aggie: Tenderhooks... That sounds, well, a little S&M. Yay.
Shawna: I would eat chocolate quesadillas. And if anyone understand what I'm talking about when I obsess about audio glitches, it's you my dear.
Stegan: Weird! I thought I had a link on my profile somewhere. The store on the web site is the best place to buy from (it's secure and quick), but if you have any problems, I'll mail ya one myself.
Oh, I hate it when I'm being tormented by my own little "what if?" voice.
I'm glad yours was wrong again. (They usually are.)
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