Monday, April 23, 2007

Long Post... Because I Can

It was gloriously sunny today, but terribly windy. I loved it.

It's the kind of wind that shakes you by the ankles and wakes you up. Although I was wearing a skirt, so my euphoria was tempered with scrambling attempts to keep my particulars under wraps. But I was still so happy. At one point, I was walking down the alley near my house, laughing out loud to myself, and grasping my knees. I confused the shit out of neighbours.

Oh well. I get like this every spring. It's just something I do.

It's that time of year when you can re-explore your home and make all sorts of discoveries. Like the shed in my backyard, for example. I knew it was there, but did I really know it was there?

If I was a kid and had a shed like that, I would be spending every waking second in there. I pretty much lived in my parents' huge crabapple tree when I was small, and I can only assume I would have loved to have a shed even more. Then I wouldn't have to go inside when it poured. I could pack a lunch (as I often did when I spent hours up in the tree) and camp out.

As I was trekking through my backyard, I found the charred lid of our garbage can, full of melted treasures.

My roomie explained that she needed to do some emotional cleansing, and felt that a good ol' garbage-lid fire was the best way to deal. The last time she decided this, she burned the drawer belonging to the bedside table of our other roomie. The bedside table belonged to her parents. It was the first piece of furniture they got as a couple.

This time, she burned her own things. Although it's hard to see from the picture, the lid contains a caribou tooth, a ring, a silver box, a glass bead from a necklace, and the remnants of her pink pyjama pants. If there were other things, they perished in the fire. Me? I write. She? She burns things.

Both effective, but I think her method is a little more punk rock.

It's been a funny couple of weeks. A bit of a roller coaster, I guess. So much so that I had to buy myself flowers. I needed them, and I don't really know why. I guess there's just too much that's running me in circles. Flowers stay still. If you keep them alive, they look happy and colourful. That's not a bad deal. Water, sun, and a vase. I can do that.

It's hard to keep track of everything. Finishing up the recording, planning a trip, tying things up at work, managing (or not managing) money, spontaneously bawling, laughing hysterically, coping with other people's stress, loving my life, trying to balance being understanding with not wanting to be a scapegoat for bad moods, eating too many sweets, wanting more sweets... And dreaming.

I do that last thing a lot. And it helps that it's thunderstorming right now. That's the best weather for dreaming. It's the best weather for a lot of things, actually. Everything but weddings. But let's not go there.

At any rate. I have less than two weeks before I'm in India. It will be strange to find myself in such a different place. Although I've traveled a lot, most of my trips have been to Europe. Not exactly a drastic change from my favourite capital city. Plus I tend to get homesick after two weeks of gallivanting. But four whole weeks away? Quite a change.

And I have absolutely no idea what to expect.

In the meantime, I'm going to go watch it rain.

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