Monday, October 29, 2007

Pumpkin Porn

Okay, okay. A few pictures. I'll do it. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Here are my two pumpkins, unaware of their gruesome, smutty fate.


We begin. Perhaps you can spot the outline on the pumpkin? Does it look a bit like a cartoonish vagina? Not a coincidence.


Outlining pubic hair with a knife is HARD. They never warn you about this in school.

Finito.


See the funnel in the shot above? That's what we inserted into a yet-to-be-made hole, and then poured yellow liquid through. Onto this pumpkin below:


Doesn't it look happy?

I'm sorry I didn't get any action shots of the actual peeing, but I was too busy taking a video. And you can count yourselves really lucky that I'm too slow to figure out how to post videos on this blog. Because the last thing you need this Halloween is golden showers, pumpkin style. Right?

RIGHT?

For good measure, here is part of the boys' pumpkin:


I know it looks a bit like a pig, but they insisted it was a cow. This shot was taken after the pumpkin collapsed a bit, but if you'd like to use your imagination, please picture a pumpkin-man standing behind the cow-pig with that rather large member obscured from view.

There. Happy dirty Halloween. Next time somebody tells you that folk singers/banjo players are all sweetness and light, you can tell them that you know of at least one sick puppy in the group.

Don't even get me started on what I can carve into a butternut squash.

5 comments:

A. & J. said...

hahaha! Those pumpkins are awesome. How many of you get together to do this?

I'm doing something similar on Wed. with a few friends. I can't wait!

URBAN PEDESTRIAN said...

Gosh - these don't look very kid friendly.

Andrea SK said...

Hahaha... don't worry UP, we don't display them. They get composted pretty quickly after we declare a winner.

A&J, this year we had three guys and three girls. You could mix it up however you want though.

Truthfully, we're having a tough time thinking up new and original designs. After you've done this for five-plus years, you start to run out of carvable smut. Maybe we'll have to switch to carving Van Gogh images in a few years. :)

JB said...

I think "Carvable Smut" should be the name of your next album.
;-)

Andrea SK said...

Aah, a stroke of brilliance, JB.

I'll break down those folk singer stereotypes track by track. And maybe I'll find a whole new listener base in people who love pumpkin porn.

That sounded a whole lot cooler before I typed it out. Maybe I'll just stick to the kosher stuff. :)