1. If you happen to be losing weight, do not celebrate by immediately buying two pairs of expensive pants. Because chances are the pants will fit really well for a week or two, and then they will become too big. Not only does this leave you broke, but this also leaves you sporting that awful scrunched-at-the-waist look that a tight belt will give a roomy pair of pants. Upside: You will probably gain weight over the winter, because winter is like that. Score.
2. If you know that sweets with really processed sugar actually make your mouth sore and bloody, don't eat them. Or don't, for example, split a log of chocolate marzipan with your Better Half because it seems fun and romantic. Instant mouth sores are not fun or romantic. They are painful. Upside: There is no upside to a sore mouth. It makes it hard to eat, and harder to make out. Lame.
3. If you finally take your old wardrobe out of your dad's garage with the hopes of using it for clothing storage, immediately check for Makeshift Daddy Repairs. Otherwise, you will spend an hour swearing at the wardrobe because none of the drawers fit anymore. It would be wiser to ask, "Dad, did you glue random pieces of wood to the bottom of the drawers?". The answer will likely be a resounding "Yes..." and that's all you will need to know before scrounging around for a chisel. Upside: You will eventually have a functional wardrobe to store your billions of sweaters. Sweet.