Sunday, March 16, 2008

Adventure Number Something Something

It's funny how a simple night of music and dancing can turn into a slightly nightmarish adventure.

I went to Zaphod's last night to hear some live music, drink some beer and do some dancing. I was there with two friends who, like me, just needed to get out and have fun - winter be damned. So we walked downtown and wandered into the hipster central that is Zaphod's.

As I got progressively drunker, I noticed a few things.

1. I really like it when the music is loud enough to shake my rib cage and make my chest vibrate. It's like a massage for music junkies. Relaxing.

2. I'm not old, not by a long shot, but standing around in a crowd of barely-legal hipsters makes me feel old. Also? Hipster fashion perplexes me. I can accept that frighteningly skinny jeans are back, but how do they get the asses of the pants to be so baggy? Those jeans are tight enough to sever a vein, but the butt pockets are still around mid thigh. I don't get it. Can anyone explain?

3. Who pees on the toilet seat and doesn't clean it up? Isn't that just basic pee etiquette? How do you not notice that you've missed your target entirely?

4. I had approximately four beer glasses dropped within a few inches of my feet last night. This reminded me of the Annie Lennox song about walking on broken glass. I came to no exciting conclusions about this.

So it was around 12:30, and we finished up our beers so we could go grab a taxi. Outside the club was a young, drunk-out-of-her-mind girl who was causing a commotion. At first, we didn't really notice much. Her friends were trying to get her in a cab, and she kept refusing. Eventually her friends gave up and went back inside. We all thought it was weird that her friends would just leave her out there, without her coat on, babbling drunk... But then again, her friends seemed to be about as mature as pocket lint.

This girl was so far gone that she couldn't stand. She fell once, badly, and we ran over to help. She fell again, and we tried to hold her up. We took our hands off her for a second so we could hail a cab, and she fell right onto the pavement and smacked her head. A cop finally came after about twenty minutes of nonsense - the girl refused help, but also couldn't keep her balance. The cop was possibly one of the most unhelpful people I've ever met. He walked over to her and yelled "HELLO! POLICE! WHAT IS YOUR NAME!" about five times. The girl couldn't remember her name, and she was totally freaked out that a cop was screaming at her. I took her ID out of her bag and told him her name. He said it didn't matter, because he wanted to hear it from her. Then, he basically decided she was just some drunk kid who was wasting his time, and got in his car to leave.

My view? Yes, she is a drunk kid, but she may also have alcohol poisoning, or she could have been slipped drugs. She was certainly acting like there was something beyond alcohol in her system. Both these things have happened to friends of mine, and both are dangerous as hell. She also hit her fucking head on the pavement, and then couldn't remember her name. She needed help. And he was walking away. We were livid. Another cop came, and was equally unhelpful, but at least she called an ambulance. They handcuffed the girl and put her in the cop car, where she proceeded to try and kick out the windows. We didn't leave until the paramedics came. We also didn't leave until we had the badge numbers of the cops, who were prepared to leave a 20-year-old girl with a broken head lying on the pavement.

Anyway. I felt totally sober while this ordeal was happening, but when I finally fell into bed, everything was spinning. I'm hungover today.

I'm still trying to sort out the evening in my head. I think I'll just take a long walk, listen to music, and reflect on how those two cops managed to reinforce just about every cop stereotype I've heard of. I also feel lucky to have friends that, should I ever be stupid enough to get that drunk, would still find a way to get me home.


Tiana said...

2 - Because they have removed their asses somehow. Nobody under 25 has an ass.

We have a 'cop friend' who told us that they only let the crazy cops work downtown for some reason. It seems to me like they should have the seasoned pros with a lot of patience working the market but I think it's part of a "if they're going to break, this will be where they do it" hazing thing or something.

Anonymous said...

Would you look at that? They let LJ users use the open ID now!

Sorry I just had to test it out.


La Canadienne said...

Good for you -- she clearly needed some help from friends and you helped her out. I have heard stories from friends about leaving people outside like that and they piss me off, so thank you for doing that. I'm glad I'm your friend and not theirs. Some day, something will go terribly wrong because of their stupid and they'll hate themselves for it. Let's hope they figure it out before then.

zoom said...

Good for you! Not only would you not leave your own friend to fend for herself in that situation, you wouldn't leave ANYBODY to do so. And you won't let the police leave anybody to fend for herself in that situation either, which is even more impressive.

Andrea... said...

I'm just wondering what she thought when she woke up in the hospital. That would freak me right out, especially if I only remembered being handcuffed the night before.

A. & J. said...

I had a night like this. Thankfully I didn't blackout and was able to speak and stand on my own two feet.

I was at Pier 21 and went to coat check and counted find my ticket. I turned around to look for my friends I couldn't find them anywhere. I looked upstairs and downstairs.. and was starting to get really worried and upset.

Earlier in the night, I thought that I had also lost my credit/debt card too and I didn't have an change on me so I coudn't make a call.

Finally after crying, I got my jacket I started to look outside for them. I couldn't see them anywhere.

I guess after that many drinks, I wasn't thinking and started to walk home. I managed to go into Loeb on Rideau and thankfully there was a cop inside. Crying. I explained my situation and asked if he would be willing to drive me home. He said no. He can't do that.

So, there I am. Walking. Drunk. on Montreal Rd. trying to get home. Thankfully A. found me walking. He was pretty pissed because he was about to rip the town apart looking for me. I was so scared and upset that no one would help me.

I never wandered around like that again downtown in my life. Lesson learned.

A. & J. said...

whoa just noticed some spelling mistakes and typos.. sorry :S

Jo Stockton said...

I have to say that at the beginning of the post I read "hipster cereal" instead of "hipster central". I am totally going to start using the phrase "hipster cereal" to describe certain environments.

Dayanti Karunaratne said...

Crazy story...the part about the pee rang true for me as last night I watched/ helped this gal who was PEUKING IN THE SINK! alot of it, too.

but obviously the girl outside is the larger issue...kudos to you-dos.