Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Save the Flavour

My cousin is getting married this summer. I love my cousin, and I love his soon-to-be wife. They are both musicians, they are both funny, and they are both smart. I am going to drive all the way to Penetanguishene and back in one weekend because I love them that much. The Tang, folks. I'm driving to the Tang for them.

But you know what I don't like? Gift registries. Especially theirs.

Don't get me wrong - the things they've listed are all useful, and the products they chose are probably very tasteful. But these are not things I would EVER buy someone for a wedding. Actually, I would never buy someone these things for any occasion. Ever.

For me, if someone cares enough about marriage to have a nice, meaningful ceremony and to get all their loved ones together to help them celebrate, than I care enough not to get them a salad spinner so they can get their new life started. I mean, really. A fucking towel? A towel to celebrate your love? A wooden spoon? NO.

Should I choose to go with the registry (I suspect I have a higher chance of growing testicles), these are some of my options:

a. Paper towel holder (wall mounted)
b. Large jelly roll pan
c. Pyrex flavour saver
d. Two-tier drying rack
e. Petal colander
f. Black potato peeler
g. Garlic press

In case you didn't notice, there is a FLAVOUR SAVER listed there. Just thought I would point that out. To save the flavour.

Now I have to start thinking of something for them that I actually want to spend my money on. I'm not going to get them something useless, but I'll be damned if I'm going to order a fucking garlic press for my darling cousin. I'd rather get them a big gift certificate to Home Depot so they can keep renovating their home. Not super personal, but a whole lot better than the alternative.

Whew. Okay. I'm done now.

(Should my cousin ever stumble across this posting, I love you to bits, but I would like to have a word with the person who helped you pick this stuff out at the store... Did you notice that you've signed up for a large jelly roll pan?)

6 comments:

XUP said...

I always get a nice cookbook. Joy of Cooking is pretty overall useful or if they are veggies, something gigantic and veggie. Although, I don’t think the registry is about celebrating their love so much as kitting out their new home because they’ll be so broke from the wedding to buy anything for many years.

Andrea... said...

XUP: A cookbook is a great idea!

As for the new home/wedding business, they've had the house for a while and have both been working good jobs for a while too. Not saying that they won't be broke, but some of the items on that list are insane. Besides which, I know too many people who got overloaded with crap from their registries and never use the stuff. Seems to defeat the purpose of a registry.

Laura said...

oh that is funny! Last year for my 2 family weddings we did gift certificates - one was home depot - the other, well, $$ were tight - so we did Canadian tire and cashed in about $75.00 in CT money!!!

Have a family wedding this summer - already has cost us $300.00 and we expect it will be @ $1000.00 in the end - darn it, why did we have to have such cute kids that relatives want as ring bears and flower girls!??!?!?! Not sure what to get this couple, but I doubt it will be the $2899.00 television set that is listed in their registry!

Good luck!

Woodsy said...

When my brother was getting married, I spent $800 on a quilt, quilt cover, and pillow cases that were listed in his registry. A year later he divorced. Two years later, he was marrying another woman. That time, I ignored the registry (for fear of getting sucked into spending too much money), and went to Perth. There, in one of the many art shops, I found and exquisite handmade glass plate for $80. They were thrilled!

Andrea... said...

Laura: A $2899 television? Seriously?? Ouch!

Woodsy: The plate sounds like a perfect gift! Much more personal than a paper towel holder (wall mounted).

M-A said...

A black potato peeler? *scratches head* Is it... a really, really fancy expensive one, or something?